The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
