She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
