I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
