i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
