go do what you do best...puke behind churches
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm at about main and main street
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
