i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
