Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize