I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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