I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
