My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
