I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
