did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Don't EVER smell your tampon
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
