dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
