everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
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