You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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