It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
