I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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