sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
