How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
