Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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