Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
