found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
