dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Actions speak louder than pants.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
