people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
