I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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