I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
