careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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