I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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