that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
