I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Drunk is not a location!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
