____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He told me they were just razor bumps!
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
