I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
