We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
