seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
