You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
