If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
