Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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