I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
