Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
