Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
