I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
