Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
