ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
people are starting to question the shark bite story
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
