Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
