WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just found a bag of teeth...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
