did you get engaged???
People in love make me want to vomit
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
