at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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