I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
we made out on top of his cat.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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