But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It's official drugs can't kill me
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize