I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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