My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
