I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
