i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
