For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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