everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
