420 ftw
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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