just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
