he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize