I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
