SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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